The Courage to Fight

Thanks for all your calls and emails.  Today I want to address specifically what a woman should do when she is treated unfairly and unjustly; based on some of the questions I have received.  Someone wants to know what it was that gave me the courage to keep fighting.

Like I mentioned in my last post, it was not about money or allowances; for me it was about standing for what was right and doing my best in my little way to check the excesses of tradition and the abuse of culture.  In order to achieve the objective above, I found out a little too late; since I had made the commitment that I was going to be on unscheduled trips to court for a long time.

The court sittings were very challenging, I had to travel every hearing to Delta whenever the case was to be heard, it was full of painful memories though.  Talking about being treated unjustly, the argument as put forth by their counsel was that traditionally a wife was the property of the man’s family.  Based on this argument they were praying the court to give them the authority to dispense with Charles’ estate as they deemed fit since he died intestate… in all these I was also saddled with the burden of ensuring that I was doing what Charles would have wanted.

After a while because of the trend of the arguments the case was transferred from a lower court to a higher court.

I saw desperation in action, people who were ready to do anything, in other to have their way, there was this day in court when someone else’s marriage certificate was tendered in evidence.  Though it was thrown out; it still proves how unfairly tradition can treat a widow.   I experienced harassment and oppression piled on the pain I was feeling; yet I had the peace and conviction to keep at it.

However, let me quickly speak to the power in finding the right support network; I found mine in a group of female lawyers, who took up the matter pro bono and kept me informed and going even when I wanted to give up; they pushed me and kept me going.  Their support ensured that I received justice in the case itself and helped my frail emotional and psychological frame at the time.  They even stopped me from coming to Delta for the hearings, as they insisted they would represent me adequately and they kept to their word.  

Everyone needs this kind of support and as I came to find out every state government have a provision to this effect.  Take advantage of what is being offered; and don’t try to deal with the issues by yourself.  You need help just like I needed help in that time.

Truthfully when the court drama started, my plan was to be a spectator in the court room, not knowing how far they have actually gone and what to expect, but sitting in the court that fateful day and hearing all they had to say, I was angry and instantly I felt this injustice must not be allowed to continue, it must be stopped and resolved it’s worth fighting for, which I believe has helped in unfolding recent events.

We never can tell how far the course we believe and we  are willing to fight for can go, we can be rest assured it’s not for our advantage alone, but will also bring about change for the good of others. And that is the reason why we must not settle for less and give up. 

This had nothing to do with heroics; every time I made I had to suffer a lot of inconveniences; the least of which was money.  The bottom line was I had been treated badly and if I didn’t do something it was going to continue.  I was dissatisfied with the treatment I received as a widow and that provoked my reactions even when it was clear I might not be heard.

Today, sticking it out has paid off not in monetary terms again but in the way I am now treated. It is no longer a surprise to get calls sometimes from my in-laws regarding pending issues that still need my attention. This recognition today where Charles’ estate is concerned is born from putting up a fight and that took courage. To have them regard my opinion even though I had no children with Charles proves that sometimes fighting is just as important as mourning. 

All said; let our hope to triumph in the face of adversity completely depends on our faith in Christ Jesus; that is where the victory lies.

Hebrews 10:23; Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Don't forget to send me an email; comfortofcomfort@gmail.com It will be an honour to hear from you.

You are loved

Peace