I woke up early, packed
more cloths for Charles, since he didn’t plan to stay long, while getting set
for the journey, my Pastor and his wife walked in, and met some of my in-laws
that were already with me, I was happy believing he wanted to pray before I
embarked on the trip, he made me sit, waiting for the prayer to commence, all I
was hearing were words of encouragement, I felt as if I was being delayed,
since I couldn’t walk out on them I sat patiently for him to finish, believe
me, no negative thought crossed my mind; I was eagerly looking forward to was seeing
Charles.
Somehow it dawned on
me that the atmosphere had changed and there was silence, Charles was shot in
Warri, on his way from the Bank he said, but couldn’t make it to the hospital,
I can’t remember hearing anything more, my life ended, my world crashed, I
couldn’t breathe, my strength failed, I didn’t see any reason to live anymore, when
I opened my eyes, I was at the hospital. I wanted to speak to Charles; I knew
he would answer his baby’s call, as he normally calls me, when he hears my voice;
all I wanted was my phone, feeling within me, that he needs my help, to go through
the difficult situation… “He is alone God” I murmured to myself.
My grief was raw and the edges of my
pain sharp I couldn’t be consoled, I was completely and utterly lost. When I leave the hospital, who will I be going back
home to? is it the crowd already waiting
to console me? Can it be true there is no hope of seeing him again? Is this a dream? A million questions raced
through my mind… even though I was sedated, I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t
stop thinking...
What could I have done, that I didn’t
do, is it that, maybe I didn’t pray enough, immediately I remembered that the
entire church was fasting, and we were participating in the fast, does it mean
that God no longer answered prayers, or is it that my faith is been tried? More
questions…
I said to the person by my bed side,
make sure you communicate with everyone that Charles shouldn’t be put in the
morgue, he is alive and God will take His glory in this situation, I know he
will wake up. Jesus raised Lazarus that was dead and buried for four days back
to life in John 11…this was a work over situation.
Charles cannot be dead; but can my Pastor
and in-laws be lying? To compound the matter, Charles hasn’t called me. As a
matter of fact with benefit of hindsight, I was confused, afraid and determined
not to accept the bad news.
My heart was aching, too painful to
bear, missing him was hard, but the idea of never seeing him again was the
hardest thing to contend with. How am I going to carry on? My chances of surviving this is slim; “Lord I
can’t cope”; I said.
So maybe your pain is still raw and you
have no idea if the night will ever turn to day again; this is 10 years later
and I can tell you night didn’t become day in one day, but somehow, I can see
the light again. I hold on to memories
and I trust God for a full life because if I am still here, I must still have
something to give.
You have to take your time, but I can
tell you because I know, that with time, even this night will become day again…
Till next week, when I bring you all the
reactions from those around me. Hold on
to God, it is only in Him you will find the comfort you seek. In Hebrews 13: 5 God says “…I will not in any way fail you nor give you
up nor leave you without support. I will
not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor
let you down, nor relax my hold on you”. (Amplified version).
Remember that I am just an email away,
I can walk with you through this dark hour; I have been there remember. Send your email to comfortofcomfort@gmail.com.
You are loved.
Peace
THE STORY IS TOUCHING
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