Hope Against Hope

Hope against Hope

This last week was very fulfilling, I  am more convinced now more than ever before that God is very much present in my life and affairs, and couldn’t stop thanking Him, because it is dawning on me daily, that the only Purpose for this blog is to give Him glory, and give hope through His word.

I read the last post over and over again… I realized how greatly God helped me overcome pain and frustration.

 The story of Ruth is one of comfort that I can relate to, as young woman married to a Jew but from Moab; the bitter enemy of Israel, she was already disadvantaged. Her situation was so bad that even tradition dictated that she returned to her father's house, considering that the Jews were not meant to marry from Moab.

However, I imagine that returning to her family wasn’t going to be that easy either considering that they might have been informed of her conversion to the Jewish faith and now believed in Jehovah the God of her in-laws.

 

 Ruth's mother-in-law, Naomi, who was also a widow, wanted to return to her home in Bethlehem. Naomi had lost not only a husband, but both her sons as well. She was hurting, and wanted to return to her old friends and whatever family remained in Israel as the famine that made them leave was over and Israel restored.  Ruth decided to go with her, turning her back on the life she knew and was used to, don’t forget she was hurting, in pain and rejection yet her spirit within her was unbroken spirit and found the strength to go on without losing focus, she believed that the only way out was to follow and depend on the God, she had been introduced to, while her marriage lasted.

Like Ruth even with no knowledge of  what God had planned, I  choose to see hope, and stick with God, rather than stay with people who thought there is no way out for a young widow who had been stigmatized.

Remember every one of us are works in progress, therefore need to be confident that every plan and purpose of God for us shall definitely come to pass, as we deliberately follow God without fear and wavering, in the mist of our peculiar situations.

Blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 AMP

God is trustworthy and when our hope found and plugged in him, we need never lose courage. Regardless of what happens in our world, his promises are sure. There is nothing that can keep his Word from coming to pass, no adversity, no pain, no sorrow, no setback. Nothing can keep his promise from being fulfilled. This simple truth gives us comfort and hope in the midst of tough times.

So look up from where you have fallen, look up to the hills from whence your help comes.  Our help is in the Lord God of Heaven and He will do as He has said concerning in Jesus name.

I await your thoughts on how to find hope when everything seems hopeless.  Email me on confortofcomfort@gmail.com.

You are loved.

Peace

 

NOW I SEE ME RISING

I have been asked why I do this a number of times, and my answer has been that others can gain comfort from my experience.  While that is still true, I have just been revealed to myself.  It has been ten years and if someone had asked me prior to this season if I was healed I would answer yes; loudly.

Apparently, I thought I was over the emotions; the anger, the frustration, the pain and even the lack of hope sometimes.  What I have just found out is that I wasn’t over anything.  Every time I begin to write a new post depending on the subject of focus I find that my emotions are revved and especially in anger over the way I was treated.

No one should have to go through anything like this, I tell myself over and over.  Why do I still feel this way I wondered; as I reflected on the number of times I had to travel to Delta State to attend court sittings in other to prove that I was legally married to Charles. A marriage ceremony that was well attended by members of both our families upon his death became a bone of contention; people started to tell me that traditions says, a wife is the property of the family where she is married to.  I remember someone asking to take me over as his wife… in the 20^th century!  In a million years if it didn’t happen to me, I would not have believed that these things still happen. Just thinking about it makes me really angry and to think that I thought I was over it all.  Hmmmm.  

So it seems I have lived in anger and bitterness all this time.  Now that I think about it objectively I have avoided everyone that I thought made to feel less than whom I am at the time even though some of them have tried reach out to me. What I realize now is that I was bitter and angry with them all.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t do anything to deserve the treatment I received but now I also know it was not in my interest to hold them responsible.

You see, I have a Father who is God, who could have made it all go away or better still ensured it didn’t happen, but He let it happen, and today, I am accepting that He had then and still has the best plan for my life today. However, to access this life now, I know that I must truly let go of the past, forgive them and let God do His perfect work in and through me.

I know you are wondering what this is now about, the truth is nothing has changed in the mandate for comfortofcomfort.  I just don’t want you to wait ten years before you begin to honestly appraise your feelings and reactions. I thought avoiding them was the best thing to do at the time however, I was the one who suffered; it wasn’t going well with my health, it resulted in palpitations whenever I came across any of them.  My journey in forgiveness began the Sunday my Pastor gave a word of knowledge  that there was someone living with bitterness and unforgiveness who must let go and let God have his way.

 I knew immediately I was the one, after a lot of struggle, I finally surrendered, repented and asked for forgiveness, which brought peace back into my life, however the undercurrent of the emotions remained and that is what I am purging myself of by these weekly posts.

How is this useful to you out there?  Don’t let the bad feelings fester; the Bible advises in  Heb 12:15, “LOOKING CAREFULLY LEST ANY MAN FALL  SHORT OF  THE  GRACE  OF GOD; LEST ANY ROOT OF BITTERNESS SPRING UP CAUSE TROUBLE YOU, AND BY THIS  MANY BECOME DEFILED.”

 

 I now understand the scars, because they have become the marks of Christ that I bear and I have resolved to give God room to use my hurt.  As of today I am no longer nurturing a wound by blaming others rather I am using what was a difficult situation the best way, by staying in God’s will and glorifying his name, for God does not waste anything; not even ugly experiences like this one, rather He will use it to bring change and blessing to many around us, and in the process move us into another season.

I make bold to say that I am ready for my next season and pray that you too will let go of the hurt, stay away from those who remind you of how bad it was and set your gaze on God who is able to take any and everything and use it for our good and His glory.

“…and we know that all things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to His Purpose.”  My Sisters this can only end in purpose if you let God.  May the Spirit of all comfort the Holy Spirit show you the way to get out of the pit.  I give God glory because today I am out of the pit.

Your emails are welcome; confortofcomfort@gmail.com

You are loved 

Peace

THE WIDOW'S OIL

Welcome, this week we would be looking at the story in 2 Kings 4:1-7 and I hope you will be encouraged to get up from the ashes of mourning and begin the first step towards a life of restoration and replenishment.

The story tells us about a desperate poor widow, who was at the verge of losing her sons, the only reasons for her joy after her husband, her lover, her friend, her provider, her protector, had been taken away from her by death. She was broken and left to care for herself and her two sons alone, and couldn’t pay her bills; as a result, her creditors were going to take her sons away as slaves so they can work off the debt. This was allowed under the Jewish Law, Lev. 25:39. She has been deprived of her husband, now she is about to lose her sons as well, remember she was married to one of the “sons of the prophets”, therefore I believe her life has been a life of devotion to the Lord, since her husband was training under Elisha to be one of the prophets and preachers in Israel, to my understanding she was walking her way into destiny before the tragic incident happened…  She must have asked herself series of questions not knowing what to do or where to turn in her pain and her poverty, all she remembered to do was to turn to the direction her husband knew before his death for the rescue her sons.

In my case I didn’t need to worry as earlier mentioned, since Charles had deposited some money in an account for me, that helped meet my need in the first four years after his death; even though I didn’t have children to care for; in the years we were married I never needed to do anything.  So you could say I was learning to live life anew; regardless it was hard.

As a result I can share in your pain especially if you have children and are going through. But most especially the Lord is very much aware and will reach out in his love.

I have heard my Pastors mention at least once every Sunday, that we should operate from our areas of strength, and the Bible passage we have read, did not point the woman to something she didn’t have, she may not have thought the oil was enough to I pay the debt but God knew and was willing to use the little she had.  Which might explain why she cried to the man of God, and he asked ‘what do you have’?  She remembered the small jar of oil, which then became her source of miracle, and her story changed.

In my case I was desperate to work to fill my days and earn money.  I didn’t want to become a beggar that I wasn’t just to. I came across an opportunity and decided to take a job, the salary was small, and the job was demanding, but I was happy, and did the job like my life depended on it, it wasn’t long before my boss noticed my determination and increased my salary; and today I have learnt to work with little or no supervision. This is huge considering I only worked for a short while I was married.

Life must go on even though you don’t feel it should and you cannot wait on others to carry you for long, it is time for you to ask yourself ‘what do I have?’ take it to God and absolutely depend on Him and He will give you more than you hoped for.

In spite of her pain and problems, the widow looked up to God for the help she needed! You need to look unto Him too.  The people around would love to help but don’t forget they have other responsibilities as well.  If God came through for the widow and for me He will come through for you; after all, He is the husband of the husbandless and the father of the fatherless.

May you find peace in Jesus name and may your eyes open to what you have in your hands.  Looking forward to hearing from you. comfortofcomfort@gmail.com.

You are loved.

PeaceHHH

MY STINT WITH ANGER AND UNFORGIVENESS

It’s amazing sometimes, when an incident like this happens, people tend to make a lot of suggestions, they believed I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to take decisive decisions, my experience was mostly on the area of protection, out of fear of being hurt  I was guided daily on whom to keep away from and whom to be close to, most times it  was frustrating, my personality had to adapt; forcing me to find new ways of self-expression. The truth is that at this stage the last thing I wanted to deal with was putting up with rules and regulations.

Against how I would normally live I had to start learning to be careful with people to avoid being misunderstood.

I suddenly realized that anger and bitterness had eaten deep into me, the people I could take a bullet for, are the ones behind the trigger, I got mad with myself to have being fooled for years without realizing it, I was suddenly exposed to risks and danger that I didn’t know existed before.

 It became apparent I needed to learn how to set boundaries that hitherto were unnecessary. My mantra daily became what did Charles do? Who did he offend? I had lots of unanswered questions, and did not see any reason why his killer should go unpunished; I had no news regarding the investigation, and wasn’t privileged to any information. 

I needed answers so I decided to travel to Warri, Delta state, where he was shot even though I couldn’t do anything tangible, I was looking for answers and anything was better than nothing at this point.  I visited the Police station in charge of the case, after series of interrogation, I pleaded with them, with tears in my eyes… I want to know how my husband died, I shouldn’t be denied, such information, Charles will want me to know I told them, fortunately I got the police report, it did not do much good, all I wanted was for his killer punished badly.

Each step of the way anger filled my heart, I felt denied of my happiness and life,. It pained my soul that his killer was walking free on the street, but there was little or nothing I could do. There is nothing in life more painful than losing a loved one with whom I had built a life and have no answers; I didn’t have any reason why I should forgive anyone, even when though I knew what the Bible said about forgiveness.
 

Fear was also one of the many reasons for my anger, I had thought I have left the era of being single, only to find myself back, with the responsibility to dealing and paying my bills myself… every time I had to pay my rent, even though the first 4 year was flexible to pay, as a result of the money Charles has deposited in the account he opened in my name, I was reminded this wasn’t my responsibility and the anger in my bosom heightened.
 

However, even in the mist of the bitterness and hate I was exuding, God was still reaching out to me; He connected me with a boss who at the end of the first four years took it upon himself to pay my rent.  My life was different; I had returned to a season I thought I was done with for life but somehow, God still watched over me.
 

The issues kept springing; there was the letter of administration to deal with.  Stuff I wasn’t prepared for and others had designs on; I could only look to God to fight for me.   The more time I spent dealing with their greed, the more offended I became; before I knew what was happening, I was growing into a resentful and bitter woman.

I knew this was an issue I had to deal with, but couldn’t find it in my heart to even think about releasing or forgiving anyone. As a result of this spiritual state I actually strayed from God a bit however, even though I moved, He stuck with me.
 

If you are in the anger stage of grief I do know what you are feeling and I can say you are justifiably so; however in the end what I learnt was that no one was more harmed in the unforgiveness limbo as me.  I was the one who lost everything, I was the one been victimized and yet I was the one in peril of hell because of anger and unforgiveness.
 

In the end like I eventually did, you will have to let it all go.  None of these were calculated to hurt you, it is just a bad nightmare of life and while we don’t pray for it; it does happen to people.  You are the apple of God’s eye and He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Even in this dark time… He sees and watches over you.

Remember that I am just an email away; comfortofcomfort@gmail.com.

You are loved.

Peace